You have no idea what I went through today. No idea. I took my nephew Austin to the DMV (which of course is like 1/2 hour away from our house) . I should have got my first clue when you could barely make it through the door because the room was SO packed with people. But, I figured since we made the drive we may as well stick it out. No biggie. I went and pulled a ticket. Number 807. Of course when I looked up I saw that they were only on number 759. Again.. we could handle it. Miraculously, there were two seats available so we sat down. Oh no.. here comes the bad part. This freakshow came in and unfortunately noticed Austin's tattoo on his arm. And it just went south from there. To our dismay, the little old lady sitting next to me got up and Mr. Larper man (Live Action Role Play) took her seat. I could go on and on but let me just give you some of the bullet points of what he proceeded to talk (LOUD!) about for the next 28 numbers (remember.. he was LOUD and talked in the most nerdy voice!) :
- "That's a nice tattoo you've got going there (Austin's tattoo of course) I'm getting a tiger on my left arm that will take up my entire arm and the only part you can see will be the tiger in full pounce.. you know.. like he's getting ready to pounce on his meal. Then I'll have a dragon across my shoulders and then down my right arm will be a grim reaper but it will be an angry grim reaper because it will be on fire.* Wow dude.. you are so cool! The bad part is that I couldn't even contain my laughter. I was full on laughing out loud at the guy and he just didn't have a clue.
- "We used to live in Westminster but had to move to Arvada and move into a ranch house because of my crazy grandma. She smoked so damn much that she could make it up three stairs and then would have to sit down. We had to paint the house three times with Kilz paint because of her temper tantrums." So I had to ask what she would do to require new paint jobs to which he replied, "she would freak out and throw her food all over the place." Again.. wow...
- He went on and on about how he couldn't get a job. I asked why he was at the DMV and he told me it was to "renew his learner's permit". He said that he would just get his regular license but his mom "freaking stresses him out." Umm.. okay... Then I proceeded to ask him how old he was and he answered "25". Holy crap.. I about choked!! I told him he should join the military if he can't get a job. He then told me that he had certain "issues" that kept him from being able to join the military. Nice... K.. here comes the absolute funniest part of the LOOOOONNNNGGGG conversation. "I almost had a job but then the guy gave it to someone else. You know who he gave it to? A FREAKING MEXICAN!" Yes.. he YELLED that in the DMV!! I told him he better be quiet or he's gonna get his butt kicked. He told me he didn't give a crap and that they blow. Oh my my... we just new we were going to be on the evening news!!
- After all of that, I just couldn't resist. I asked if he was a "larper". I really thought it might make him mad and I think deep down I really wanted to see his angry reaction. But no... he told me he used to be but the group fell apart!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!!! Oh.. and yes, he (or his friend.. I can't remember) has the ENTIRE Pokemon card collection. Umm.. didn't even know there was such a thing.
I really could go on and on but those were all of the notes Austin took for me. He knew I would need the goods for my blog. Oh.. and in case you were wondering.. Mr. Larper's name was Mike. You know.. Mike from Old Town Arvada. Oh mercy...
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